ew, that fish is so fat.

I promised a Paleolithic-type food post, and here it is. Minus the pretension!

Only in the world of nut and fish-eating does fat seem to be a good thing. Otherwise everyone's all - oh my god, do these compression shorts make me look fat? Do these corset-pants hide my fat? Do you think Keira Knightley is getting fat?

Well salmon and pecans are in luck, because they can be as fat as they want. They're full of healthy omega-3 fatty acids, which can help lower your bad cholesterol levels and make you more attractive to the opposite sex. My second claim is under-researched, but probably true for people who really like fish.

So today I concocted a salmon-pecan-cranberry lettuce wrap with some leftover salad, a couple leaves of lettuce, and a hunk of baked salmon fillet. All foods Caveman Colleen would like.

If you've never had a lettuce wrap, I urge you to go to the nearest Red Robin and order one immediately. Eating a sandwich with lettuce in place of bread is three million times more satisfying than ordering a burger without a bun. The difference is probably mental, since Iceberg lettuce is pretty much nutritionally empty. But it's nice to have a couple slices of something to hold onto while you're eating, instead of just getting lonely patty and a sliver of onion on a plate.

Insert salmon.

Wrap.

Consume.

"caveman says..."

Montana and I went on an awesome hike on Saturday. It snowed for the first time in two weeks, so we could see all the tracks on the trail. My Paleolithic instincts told me that something was stalking a couple humans ahead of us. A predator can always sense another animal on the hunt.

I stalked their tracks through the forest and found this fellow.

His name was Thor. He seemed like a fearsome brute, but not a bear. My senses need more honing.

For the past couple days, I've been spewing misremembered Paleo-Diet wisdom to anyone who will listen and referring to myself as the gender-neutral "Paleolithic Man".

"Paleolithic man wouldn't eat that doughnut."
"Paleolithic man needs to replenish the glycogen stores."
"Paleolithic man didn't wear makeup."
"Paleolithic man wants Tom Brady to lose."

But I'm starting to realize that Cordain's "modern" Paleo diet for athletes is pretty much how I eat normally, minus the occasional bowl of Rice Chex or ice cream. I have been limiting my tortilla chip habit to post-workout carb replacement and eating eggs for breakfast more often, but that's about it. It isn't harder to do without sweet things like cookies since I can't eat wheat products in the first place. I even ordered a "forager salad" from a menu. Then I took Cordain's advice on cheating and ate half Montana's fries.

Plus I did my first solid run in a week without major foot pain. It felt pretty darn great. I didn't even have to hobble around the house later. I must be growing a new Paleolithic bone structure.

For my workout today, I might stalk some deer through the woods.

Pretentious Paleolithic recipes coming up soon!



[NEW ZEALAND COUNTDOWN: 2 WEEKS]

apologies to Amazon and early hominids

Ok, it's time for a confession. I'm not a mean person. But I am prone to making harsh, swift judgements. When presented with something new, I either love it or hate it passionately. Ninety-five percent of the time, I hate it. A lot.

For instance, my first reaction to Chaco sandals was instant hatred and contempt. Minimalist running shoes? Stupid and too thin. iPads? Awful, pointless, and terrible compared to laptops. Greek yogurt? Disgusting.

But ninety-eight percent of my judgements are wrong. Now I'm a yogurt-eating, Chaco-wearing, minimalist running enthusiast who loves playing with her mom's iPad.

Recently, I realized that I was wrong about a couple more things. For instance, both things in this photo:

1) the Amazon kindle. Since my grandmother got one last year, I've classified kindles in my brain as "Grandma iPads". As stupid as iPads, but slower-moving and easier on the eye. When I saw one of my friends using one last year, I scoffed loudly and rolled my eyes.

I feel bad about that now, since I haven't put mine down for the past 48 hours. The web-browser is slow and sometimes freezes, and typing on the screen is a bit challenging. But it's almost a nostalgic activity - back to the days when we had rotary phones and had to block off twenty minutes of the day to check our email.  Plus it's about half the size of a book and weighs the same no matter how many books you stuff into it. I think it'll really come in handy for traveling. Five thumbs up.

2) the Paleo diet - lots of meat, vegetables, fruits, and no refined anything. I heard about the Paleo Diet from a friend. Stop eating grains? Even rice? I was already gluten-free and couldn't see any sense in nixing more food from my diet. I'd rolled my eyes obnoxiously and called my friend a stupid hipster.

In hindsight, it's amazing I still have friends.

Then I came across this article on Outside magazine's website. It's an experiential review of Loren Cordain and Joe Friel's The Paleo Diet for Athletes, an adjusted Paleo diet that suggests eating "modern" carbs (bagels, rice, corn, granola bars) before and after you exercise. That sounded a lot more reasonable.

When I got my kindle, I saw that Cordain's book was only ten dollars to download. Why not? I read it yesterday at "work."

This book was great. Although it's occasionally riddled with athletic elitisms (for instance, the constant degradation of "the couch potato" and phrases like "[the athlete's] day might look ordinary to the rest of the world, but it really isn't"), Cordain gives solid, simple nutritional advice for endurance athletes.

The bottom line? Humans are animals who were built to hunt and gather, not sit around shoving grains into their faces - that's what deer are for. So keep it simple and fresh - the fewer processed foods the better. Get your nutrients from food, not vitamin capsules. Replace carbs after you exercise (or during, depending on the amount of time you're active). Don't restrict calories, and cheating on your diet is encouraged to keep you sane.

I think I might give this Paleo thing a try. I can even browse for new recipes on my kindle.