Monday, May 16, 2011


I'm just so proud of that alligator.
Hahahahaha. My word play is extremely hilarious, I know. I'm sure you're all rolling on the ground in laughter. Or ROTFLing, as the kids would say (I think).

Anyhoo. Over the weekend, the family van drove out to Meadville, PA to see my big brother's graduation ceremony. The tiny little town was so packed full of grandparents and relatives and parents that my family had to stay at a hotel half an hour away. I opted to crash on Brother's couch for a couple days. My back still feels all wonky and crumpled up.

To simplify, here are some proportions of how I spent my time:
1/5 driving to Meadville
1/4 wearing a skirt, saying "hello, how are you?", chatting politely with Grandma
1/4 sitting through the commencement ceremony (feels like: 5/4. wrap your head around that fraction. It's a lot.)
1/3 waiting for food in overcrowded restaurants for a salmon salad (salmon omitted due to technical difficulties)
1/4 watching Dad try to uncork a bottle of champagne
1/2 drinking various celebratory beverages with Brother and friends, giving high fives, laughing
1/2 recovering from the previous activity
1/16 running
1/18 sleeping
    I know these don't add up in the traditional mathematical sense. Think about it as liberal math-- in the spirit of all the liberal arts colleges sending their graduates off into the real world this month... To strike out into the land of young people with philosophy degrees scrambling for jobs at Barnes & Noble.

    But it was seriously a great weekend. I have photos to prove it.

    This was commencement. It was so long and boring that I had nothing better to do than take pictures of chairs.

    Then we stormed the campus and took pictures with an alligator. My family acted characteristically silly and did embarrassing things, but I left them out of this post to represent my relatives in the most positve, glowing light possible.

    I also got super cute picture with my brother's lovely girlfriend in her adorable summer dress. Maybe I'm biased towards humans of my stature, but she's probably one of my favorite people.
    Then we went back to the house, and laid out congratulatory snacks for everyone. Mom hoped the cake would look like this so she could have something to contribute to the Interent, but it was disappointingly normal. But she was very thoughtful to get some Nut-Thins and vegetables that I could eat with reckless abandon.
    Here's where the photography takes a dramatic turn into the realm of tomfoolery. I took a crappy picture on my cellphone to commemorate the event (because I didn't trust myself to keep track of my nice camera.
    I think those are boys. And a doorway. They might be dancing, and it might be 3:25 a.m.

    *By the by, here's a warning to all the gluten-sensitive college students. Don't delude yourself into thinking that FourLOKO is gluten free. Even though you'll be having a whole heck of a lot of fun while you're drinking it, you will feel ill immediately after consuming a quarter of a can. In other words, just don't drink it. Unless you're seriously committed to fun.

    Which I am.

    And here's the last lovely view of Brooks Walk, the central avenue on campus. So collegiate-pretty.