1. If the car is leaking a trail of black goo, it is not the universe playing a practical joke. It is an oil leak. Don't drive sixty miles out to the nature conservancy. Don't expect your oil light to stop blinking. Stop at a gas station and start feeding your car a few quarts of motor oil every 10 miles.
2. When doing an interview with a microphone, make sure you don't have the mic plugged into the mic port, not the headphone port. This will save you loads of embarrassment. And time.
3. If you're at the local Fed-Ex/UPS/U-Haul/Post office, don't let the shady, scruffy looking girls wearing Baby Phat jeans cut in front of you while you step aside to fill out one line on your address label. They're trying to rent a U-Haul truck. It's going to take half an hour. Fill out your shit in line and make the bitches wait.
4. Run in the morning, when the day is still smiling down upon you. Don't try to run at night after a long day of life lessons. Learning is too tiring.
5. Chocolate is not a suitable pre-workout snack. Don't eat half a bar of chocolate and expect to be able to run eight miles. You won't be able to do it.
Yuck, what a Wednesday.
And now I'm sitting in my room, gazing out at the nothing I can see from my window. I'm thinking about summertime, when it would've been acceptable to run at 7 p.m. Now everything is too icy and black, and it's only 6.
How long is this winter thing going to take?